I am the bird.

The bird sings before the dawn

Cause the darkness lasts long before the morn

I thought it would never come

Thought they were going to blow the horn

Thought it was now the end, my end

 

But now I see a light

And that light had always been there

It’s how I can see at all

But I, at that time

Lost sight

I have regained it, I–

–don’t want to be afraid anymore

I’ve had it now.

 

And don’t you know, it’s better to take it slow

And go, on your way to internal home,

Take your time, in Jannah you won’t

Worry about being alone, eternal joy.

 

 

 

 

 

CPR of Realization

Worried that I’m detached

Truth is it isn’t an arduous task

And yet I’d like to reattach

Just keeping saying

Tomorrow’s another day

When today should be the place

Where I begin

But the end

Looks like it ain’t any further than the starting line

But I don’t want to wait ‘til I start to flat line

Hypnotized, got to revive, reignite, this can’t be my life!

Inside of me’s a flame

Been lying ’til I’m lame,

Have I been chasin’ fame? No!

Riya’in all the way but now I’ve gotta come back home

Before the door of life starts to close

Oh man I’m stuck here

But struggling isn’t going to pull me

out of the quicksand

I gotta reach out

Let them take my hand

God’s help sent, or who’s else?

Bring out the paddle

Don’t think, just do,

I can hear them coming,

Charge them — go, go, go!

Charge to 200!

I don’t need dollars

When I’m a hundred miles from home

I need dinner and a ride

350!

I need strength and a path and direction

Relay, replay Hadith of the Prophet

Got a dua in my pocket

Wa Allahu Samee’ ul ‘Aleem

400..

I’m losing strength but I’m losing sleep

Gotta get back up on the saddle

Riding horses home, valiant like the sahabah

Awaken life-restoring paddles,

if I’m not done yet

I believe He thinks I’m worth a second or two to repent

450, Charge the paddles

I’m wide awake and finally breathing

In death I received my reason

Gasp as I am savouring oxygen

Not one inside convenience

No, this reason isn’t for a single season

But for all to come

No one stands by my side

Except a soul God set forth

Carried over the defibrillator

Needed God to gift the crash cart

And thereby, I am alive

Someone was sent to move

The winds to move

The clouds to gather

Moisture to water

Let it rain, let it shower

Us in Allah’s Mercy.

Water in my bones,

Water cleanse my heart

It’s black and hard as stone.

Water, if God wills, oh God please let it

Oh God please let me

Make up for this please

This won’t be my last plea

So I won’t say it’s all I’ll ever ask

Not a single request could be my last

And yes for eternity

Yet, you knew that before I came to be

‘Cause it was you

Who said Kun! Fayakun!

Be, and it is!

Kun! Fayakun!

And I am patient, because I have trust.

I am kind, because I received rahma.

I am sincerely successful, because Allah loves me.

I am peaceful, because I have faith.

Kun, Fayakun!

Swallow anger and settle ashes,

Water the flame.

Support sadness and wipe away that anguish,

Water the dying flower, she is weak,

Don’t let her lose a single leaf.

Seeing is Believing the Light Will Come

I saw a bright light

It won’t turn me blind

Maybe you’ll feel it’s a flashlight

Blasting your retina

But the truth is, I believe

 

You try the darkness

Thinking it’s the light

‘Cause it’s sleek, slinks through the night

Like a shiny car, a fancy life

But all you live is only a lonely strife

Your kids struggle, you hate your loving wife

 

All the ways, you walk away

Unlike how you try to run to younger days

Well, my truth doesn’t crack and fade

From paradise to Paradise,

I walk to the future

As I approach tomorrow

I see it was already rising, arriving, leaving

quicker than a spark of lightning

 

I tell it, “meet me halfway

I’m not afraid to play

I’m gonna join a race

Don’t leave me in the field

Let me live in honesty

Doing what’s right for me”

 

I’m not floundering

Ya Allah, never leave me withering

I have had enough

Of speaking around my feelings

The past has left me reeling

And I don’t want to repeat their sins

 

You see, I was looking at a dream

Thought I was awake

Saw myself inside a hole

From outside, too, started to break

They trapped and chose to go

 

And how am I supposed to know

That all I have to do is stand

When it’s so dark

The stars that I envision are

From a light head sinking in quicksand

Well then, I’m sure I must be done

 

But then his words came

That none was alone secluded in a cave

I rose, made dua and realized, pushed the stone aside

The light will come, it’s right in front

It’s black, but not bleak

Because the world doesn’t orbit me

But instead, it flows in perfect formation

‘Round the sun just like the sea

Meets the shore, goes, comes back to me

 

Just because the light I cannot see

Doesn’t mean Allah didn’t choose for it to be

 

Just because my Lord I cannot see

Doesn’t mean in His truths I won’t believe

A Legacy of Love

I found myself

in life.

Found beautiful heavenly light

In death.

I cannot live

If I don’t recognize my end–

What I hope for it to be.

 

A meaningful mind,

Stretched through eons of time

This it is at my time.

A thousand years from now

Will these words remind

Ringing in the back of my time

Learning from the letters

And who had said them.

I may live in anonymity,

Only out of necessity,

Only to let you see me.

Shed my tears

Show others it’s okay

To feel

That that is simply how

To heal

Oh yes, these things

They are real

Sometimes it’s hard

To deal

But you can never escape

And the desire to be free

Will be trapped in your efforts

To numb a yearning for peace.

 

I smile with delight

And show my love with complete abandon.

I am not afraid to,

This is what I must do

Otherwise they’ll never

Look back and say they knew,

The day or night that I am gone.

 

I laugh in sad times,

The only way to move on

Is to stop pretending to be strong

And build your way back up.

Allow someone to give you a leg up

If they matter to you

You’ll know

When they are willing.

 

The only way out

Is to go through,

Believe in something new.

Coming, it’s coming,

Don’t just wait and see

Opportunity does not come to you.

You are surrounded by it

But will only benefit

If you choose to seek it.

No one learned to be strong

Without years, pain felt hard

And seemingly forever

Now in so many endeavours

God had bestowed a success

Worked hard for.

 

Helping generation after generation

Sincere success rewarded

Eventually, maybe even now

Hopefully forever.

Maybe you’ll never know until you’re gone,

But a constant charity,

A continuously rising deed,

It will always be.

 

I tell the truth,

But only when it’s quiet.

When they’re listening.

Translate it to a documentation,

So that when they are in reason

And recognize the season within,

And search for a cultured eye

They’ll see my what and why.

An objective viewpoint,

Observing and only judging oneself

I can only hope,

That these words will often leave their shelf

Put away in times of ease, perhaps

Brought out in a heart’s disease, a grateful lapse

In gentle quiet,

Opened to explore the leaves:

Their colours,

Their wonders,

The stories they will tell.

About the child picking them up

To press them

The squirrel that scurried over them

A couple stepping on them

The crinkling sound comforting

The scent of fall deepening

A lovely loving memory already made.

I knew it when it happened, because

I was forever changed.

 

When I looked for beauty in close range.

Never knew I was so strong

Never felt so much like I belonged

While alone with Him

And no human being was around.

There is good in everything

It’s us who we must blame

When we do not see

The shine inside the ice

The breeze inside the wind

The coolness before the scorching heat

Why do we lie in defeat?

 

The mist’s comfort is the impossibility

To constantly be right in

Trying to predict whatever’s ahead.

When you look for clarity

But only find the fog instead,

Maybe take a moment to breathe,

Sometimes it rains so hard we cannot see

But know that it’s not acid

It’s cooling, cleansing reality

Winds soft with a caressing blow,

And the heat that makes you glow.

The silence in going slow,

Quiet thoughts will surely show

Where you are, and

Where you must go.

I Miss Allah

Oh Lord,

I miss you.

I know in this life,

I won’t get to see you

I won’t hasten to,

But I work while waiting.

 

The day I learned to give,

Is when I learned how to live.

 

Ya Rabb,

I’m missing a piece.

Forgetting Your love

Because of what I put in between.

 

O Lord,

In quiet times

I miss you most.

I know how it feels

To feel close,

I can’t let go.

 

But my faith is waning,

I don’t mean to keep complaining

But I don’t beg any but you,

To heal me,

Transform me,

I will ask no less of myself,

Never afraid to ask you

To enable

My quest.

 

You are my Sustainer after all,

You help the righteous stand tall.

Friends, I sat back and thanked Him

For the joys He’d given,

Asked about the hardship,

Did I get through it honestly,

Pass the test,

Did I give it my best?

 

The living, the dead,

It’s all from chosen dust.

For varied colored races,

And to the ground we will return.

 

Trees planted over our graves,

Long after it was forgotten

That our rest-stop

Held us underneath.

Building new homes

Over us whom no longer have homes,

To anyone else but the grave,

Our names will be forgotten.

But with Allah we have never — will never

Fall in.

 

And the last moment where we pass away,

Will only be grave.

But for the muhsinoon,

Will be a soft-breezed heavenly scent,

A dear loving shade.

A Monster to Subdue

Oh what have I done?

Tell me

What have I become?

How come the water on the trees

Makes them grow

But I am still a seed not sown?

 

Tell me what have I done,

Am I finished already?

I don’t mean to be a burden to them,

Just hoping You’ll help me be forgiven,

That You will have me pardoned,

So that I can have redemption.

I am ready to come forth and

To acquire expiation.

 

What have I become,

A stone wall

Where no water penetrates,

To soften my heart

Opposite a tree that grows free

Humble branches

Lowered heavily, by

Offering fruit

And shade.

 

While for me there is no escape,

At least not past this life,

It’s really just illusion

That blinds me from facing it.

 

There is no escape,

From flames,

Hot enough to molten metal,

Or joy,

Forever, complete and eternal.

Ambition Never Satiated

I came to a better place.

Everyone loving,

Looked on with pride,

But me, I wasn’t satisfied.

 

And they asked why,

Reminded me of where I’d been,

How far I had come,

Well done!

That is what I have done.

 

The present is a blessing.

Better than whatever I could ask for,

Nor imagine.

But I don’t stop here

What you don’t see

Is I have a million starting lines

 

Each present that becomes the past,

Is another that doesn’t last.

I have to spring past.

It’ll never come back

So when they asked me how

I could be so ungrateful,

To not just enjoy what

I’d been given.

 

But I’m not satisfied.

Because I know that with

Every next trial, and

Every past struggle successful 

Was proof I was even more capable

 

To truly be grateful,

To be wholly content,

Is to take what I have been given,

And make sure it makes

A difference.

Make sure it makes me better,

Not arrogant or boastful.