Illusion of Independence

What I did not know
As my hope when it started to go
Is Allah’s love never loses its flow
In times I would not believe
He still really truly never left my need

For a time I couldn’t see
Simply belief wasn’t enough to me
She was by my side
She was from my soul where love resides
Tamed my in black and white

This bleak, awful self-hate
Lose those miserable weights
I need to gain heart muscle
But how if I don’t exercise love?

I need more than a figure of calming speech
After a while it sounds like it’s stuck on repeat
What can I say, these aren’t your deeds
You can’t help me, fellow person

I mustn’t assume I always need
A human being
To help me be
Maybe I don’t even need myself
And thoughts like “I am independent,”
Should be left to gather dust
In shelves way back in the closet
Until I can do an audit

Maybe I’ve finally got it
That if my heart is done for
It is God whose got it – who can cure it

For me only Allah is sufficient.

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