Sometimes, human beings can be pretty egotistical. When something ‘good’ happens, we want to take credit and assume status. On the other hand, when something difficult happens, we are nowhere to be found, and assume no responsibility. It’s understandable that no one wants to be associated with something negative, and with people it makes sense to want to create a light, almost façade in order to avoid attacks on your morality and past mistakes. Let’s face it, not everyone is innocent and we all want a piece of the pie.
But when it comes to Allah, there’s really no need to be so careful. He’s more than family, so it’s not like He doesn’t know everything already anyway. Yup! It’s too late, you were caught before you were even in the thought of the act. And yet, Allah is so Merciful, he lets us take our time. We disobey him, we face the consequences, we complain and all along He is teaching us a lesson we are resisting. In reality, He allows, and so must we.
What it means to allow is that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. You allow yourself to own up to your own mistakes in your heart, mind and soul, to yourself and to Allah. It relieves such a great burden of making that effort to save face externally, simultaneously retaining up the walls we have within. And the sad part, is that the one we are holding these walls up against is Allah Himself. In between, separating ourselves from our most loved one, the one who loves us most. These are walls of anger, regret, guilt, resentment, sadness and anguish. Most of all, they are walls that represent our mistrust, our lack of thinking of Him or being conscious of Him. With these walls, we tell Allah, unfortunately, that something smaller He Himself created, is better than Him and better for us than Him, even though He is the one who gave us those people. They are insincere and they can be very dark, and we do little about it. So, you feel that this is something to consider, what can you do?
Just be truthful to Him. It’s so simple and so easy once you come to understand something deeply powerful:
Allah’s theme is perfection. You were created perfect, even if you didn’t stay that way. Your life is exactly perfect for what you need to learn. Don’t take this the wrong way, please! — but even your mistakes are perfect because you need them to learn, but they also shape your life and lead you to better things. Just don’t slam into them. Use your judgement; be wise, and even that is an achievement in and of itself.
Your family is perfect for the kind of support you do (or don’t) need. Sometimes, although it’s painful to accept for anyone going through loneliness and/or abuse, if you don’t have many family members to speak of, that are alive, or you do but they are abusive, it may mean you needed to find out that you were better off in solitude, in growth with different people, and that the journey of finding those people was essential to the survival of your soul, as well as learning how to protect yourself from difficult and sometimes destructive relationships and people in general. Something in your future will require some of the resilience or emotional or strategic, creative problem-solving you deal with now, so don’t despair. There’s something good coming your way, and it’s fun, regardless of whether it’s just Paradise right away, or having the blessing of using your tough stuff and unique experiences for good with others and yourself.
This life and its sequence of events isn’t just a test, it is necessity and need for the human soul, body, mind and heart.